Tonight, at my last students gathering, I did a little spoken word piece and a follow-up talk. Upon request….. here it is.
I want to redefine perfect
Where us and God intersect
Perfect is a place where I am
Right here where I stand
Right here where you sit
But we don’t even realize it
But why? A message so simple, so basic. That most of us can’t even look in the mirror and face it.
Because the devil’s behind in our eyes, in our minds, projecting lies through some rose-colored glasses. Since he’s in our minds, it’s hard to find answers to the questions we aren’t even asking.
Because we sit, and we take it, and with heads held high we fake it.
Some of us use make-up to cover up what we don’t want you to discover about us.
But it ends today, and it will end every day. Day after day.
Because I was not designed to hate parts of myself
And you were not designed to hate parts of yourself
I was not deisgned to follow anone else
And you were not designed to follow anyone else
You see, our God did not send his only son to suffer on the cross to watch me be enslaved by my own reflection
And if the world won’t do it, then I will redefine perfection
As this:
You were modeled by and in the image of the ultimate creator
If you don’t get that now, I’ll happily be the translator.
You. Are. Beautiful. Just the way you are.
Beyond the words of Justin Bieber, James Blunt, and One Direction
You are worthy of all his affection, attention, forgiveness, and more
And when you’re broken down in your own filth, He’ll even pick you up off the floor.
And yet, sometimes I forget why exactly he paid my debt.
My Jesus dies on the cross to free me from sin, not to cloudy my thoughts and make me be thin.
Not to cheapen my spirit to get me in with the in crowd so I can feel loved, loud, and proud.
But of what?
My Jesus dies on the cross to liberate whole cities
Not to rearrange my face so I can be pretty
But i’ve been real petty and I don’t know if I’m ready
They say, “if you love it, set it free” and I’m sick of loving to hate on me.
Letting go is something I can’t do on my own so it’s me and my boy Jesus who’s sitting at the right hand of my daddy’s throne.
So the next time somebody says “you. aren’t. worth it”
Tell ‘em “there’s something inside of you, you need to unearth it”
Tell ‘em “that’s the devil inside” so point them in the right direction
But what’s really important is this correction:
Jesus didn’t die to see us enslaved by our own reflections
So can we come together? and redefine. perfection.
Everyone has 2 cards. On one, write things you dislike, physical or otherwise. On the other card, write things you love about yourself. Those are to be addressed later.
Let’s talk about letting go of insecurities. In my opinion, there are only 2 ways. Giving it to God and spinning it into a positive. Usually, one cannot simply change it physically. What I mean by this is if you have an issue with your weight and you lose 20 lbs, something else will just pop up in its place. Then you’ll notice your nose or your hair or whatever. You cut off one head of the beast and 2 more grow in its place. It just doesn’t work long term. But this is what we can do.
1. Give it to God.
I’ve always kind of hated that phrase. It’s not a universal thing. Everyone has different ways of communicating with God. So giving it to God has many faces. Prayer, deep prayer and understanding what God intended for you. Physically, you are perfect. Designed in the image of God, every hair is counted, every stitch and seem is there for a reason. Ask God to take away your insecurities. If it’s emotional or a personality trait, ask for a change for the better! Ask for Him to show you the way.
For me, that was stripping myself of everything that made me comfortable. I was bleach blonde for 8 years. I went natural. I stopped wearing make-up. I stopped wearing “alluring” clothes. I questioned all aspects of my life and if my actions were rooted in insecurities, I cut it out of my life. At first, I was really uneasy and felt exposed in public without make-up and with my dull brown hair. But eventually, I redefined beauty and found myself absolutely gorgeous the way I am. I can’t stop thinking that I am hot stuff all the time just the way I am. I can assure you that God is with me on that too. An extreme cleanse isn’t for everyone, but it worked for me. If that was giving it to God looks like for you, pray about it and try it.
I used to be really sarcastic and cynical sounding. I would put down friends as a joke, mock them, as a joke, or criticize them. I realized after a while this was taking its toll on friends of mine and really hurting relationships. I thought about my actions, questioned why I acted in such a way. And I got to the root of my issue. I put down people around me because I was insecure. I wanted to have control over the situation. I needed to feel the power in all my friendships. If I was in control and if I was superior, I felt better and safer in any relationship. That had to stop, so I prayed about it and really made a point to pay attention to the words that left my mouth. I see this a lot in England. There is a culture of banter that is funny and playful, but I have seen it get out of hand fairly easily.
Side thought: Are we desensitized to this?
2. Twist that negative into a positive
There is no better way to explain this than to tell my own experience. This one I have found to be fun. In high school I got made fun of for a lot of things about me. My nose, my chin, my forehead, my toes. Mostly all silly things that people didn’t think hurt, but obviously stuck. I have really long toes, “monkey-toes” as they are called. I used to think they were weird and alien-like… but then I decided to think of them as another way to pick things up. It’s really incredible how much dexterity they have. I’ve never met anyone else with more agile toes. I call that “a plus.” Secondly, my big forehead, or a “fivehead” as some call it. I always tries to hide it with bangs or a hat. There came a time in my journey with Jesus where I decided to question my insecurities in the matter. Why did I hate my forehead? Because people made fun of me. Not because I cared, but because others made me feel insecure about it. So once I confronted the issue, I realized that I could spin it into a positive. My forehead holds more text space, so when I go to baseball games, I can write more on my face. We all know how much I love baseball games and going all out! I call that a homerun.
So this is what I want from everyone:
Question your insecurities. Be aware of your actions. Evaluate your lives. If there is something you don’t life about yourself ask God and yourself why it is unpleasant to you. Let’s say that insecurity is a tree you don’t want. If you are taking it down leaf by leaf or branch by branch, it will grow back before you finish every time. But, if you get the tree by the root, you can get rid of it in one fell swoop and keep it from growing in any way.
Don’t be afraid to share your insecurities. We are the body of Christ and we all work together. We are created with each other in mind. We can support each other and share experiences and help others. Let’s grow together.
Get back to those cards. Look at the dislike column. Is there anything you can twist into a positive? Do it, kick it over to the love card. If you can’t move it, give it to God. Pray about it. Question why it’s there. If it’s not biblical, take it up with the Big Guy. If it’s based in insecurities of the earthly nature, throw it away. We are not called to be insecure people. Let’s do what we need to do to be all we can be in the body. Don’t forget to throw away the dislike list, because we don’t need those anymore.
Take the Love List and put it in your wallet. Take it out whenever you feel down, not enough, imperfect, or unloved. But before you do, here are some bible verses to site on the back of the card:
Psalm 139:13-18
Romans 12:2
Genesis 1:27
